As I am sitting here watching The Bachelor with my mom, I can’t help but think about my current boy situation. And when I say current, I mean the past 3 years. In high school, I dated a boy who I will call Joe. Joe and I dated on and off my freshman to the end of my junior year. Every 2 months he would break up with me, hook up with another girl, then want me back. Because I was a “in love” with him, I always too him back. Finally, my summer going into my senior year, I met my next boyfriend, Will. He was a year younger than me but I knew I was in love with him. We broke up before I went to college because we both knew it would not work.
When I got to college, Joe and I started dating again because he went to the private college right next to mine. When I became sick, he decided to cheat on me instead of be with me. We ended up breaking up ( I finally learned some lessons) and have not talked since. My sophomore year I met Phil. I am not sure if it was because I was finally completely recovered from any illness and disordered eating, but I was not ready for a boyfriend. I never wanted to hang out, go on dates, sleepover, etc. He was so kind and understanding, but I broke up with him over the summer and drove him completely away.
My first semester of my Junior year, I was set on not having a boyfriend. I did not have time, I did not want to be tied down, I just wanted to have fun etc. I went on several dates, but it just left me lonely in the end. Now that I have friends that are talking about getting engaged (yikes) and living with their boyfriends, I wonder if I should have a boyfriend. Is there something wrong with me? Should I WANT to have a boyfriend?
I know I do not need a boyfriend. I know I am independent and do NOT need a man to make me happy. I just hope that when the right one comes around, I think I will be ready. 🙂
Is everyone watching The Bachelor? I read on spoilers before the season even started that one particular woman is going to win. Now all the sites are saying someone different! I am so confused now! I really hope he picks Emily though!